For weeks, Andiclaus has been stressed about our return to California for the holiday. And I've been floating on a cloud. We're going home, after all. Where I get to see Naomi and JR, where Sarah and I can eat Lolitas and Slurpees (which is the way all true Chula Vistans eat Lolitas), where Grandma makes dinner and I don't have to do anything to help unless I want to. Which, of course, I do. I'm making pie and empanadas.
But in the last few days, I've started to wake up. We're going to California. The place where all our drama resides. Out here in KC, so far away from family and friends, we remain outside the storm. Sure, we occasionally hear about some thing or other that is making someone hurt/sad/angry/homicidal, but we don't generally get dragged into the thick of it. It's calm.
Add a baby trying to recover from the two-hour time change and I feel we have a recipe for disaster.
How do I explain to Alliclaus' aunts and grandmother that she doesn't actually want to be held by them. Surely they all remember the separation anxiety their children felt...except. Do they? If this is the only time they'll see her in the next year, is separation anxiety going to seem like a good enough excuse for the screaming that ensues if I take my eyes off her for one minute while someone else holds her?
To add to the stress, the day we're in Los Angeles with Andiclaus' family, we'll be spending the entire day at his childhood home. It is a two-bedroom home with a couple of makeshift attic bedrooms as well. There will be all six children, plus five spouses, plus nine grandchildren and possibly two other guests there. It should be a packed house and I don't think I can count on Alliclaus to take a nap there.
I thought we were going to be celebrating at Andiclaus' sister's house, where there is a guest bedroom to which I could shut the door and let Alliclaus sleep. But I just don't know how it's going to work. Additionally, evenings at Andiclaus' home usually go pretty late if everyone's there. By 5:00, Alliclaus is going to feel like it's bedtime. And while I'm willing to keep her up until 7:00 to try to get her adapted to the time change, I don't think she'll last any longer.
With Sarah and Josué getting married, it brings up all kinds of other feelings for me. The months leading up to my wedding were not happy ones. Andiclaus' large family takes a long time to warm up to someone. So my feelings are divided about the excitement of the wedding. For the most part, I want Sarah's experience to be entirely different than mine was. I want them to immediately accept her as part of the family. I want them to support the decisions they make together, recognizing that they are adults and that they really do know what's best for their family. But there is a small, very petty part of me. Why should it be so easy for them? Why did I have to work so hard for it?
Wow. I'm a total bitch. Not really a surprise, though.
Oh well. I have another baby blanket done, so I'll try to post it tomorrow. It isn't for a blogger, but it is very, very pretty. Also, two scarves. They're Christmas presents, but we'll put them up anyway, huh? People can guess what's for whom, I suppose.
I'll keep my fingers crossed that your holiday is lovely and drama-free, and that Alliclaus gives the grandmothers at least a good 30-seconds of scream-free cuddle time.
Re: Sarah - don't feel too bad, as I'm guessing your feelings are totally normal. Vent the bad out of your system in safe places, be supportive of her, and it'll all fall into place.
Posted by: Dawn at December 22, 2006 08:44 AM
Oof. Hang in there.
When we travel, I try to keep Arun as close to his normal scheduled as possible, but I'd let it slide by an hour. However, we've never been gone more than 5 days. The positive side of doing this, though, is that it made the return much more bearable because he would settle back into his normal routine by the 2nd night.
I know what you mean about family drama. Sometimes, I think how nice it would be to live away from my family so I could live misty-eyed in Denial.
Posted by: cagey at December 22, 2006 09:18 AM
Family issues suck and make things so much harder. We deal with shit too and it's not what I want me son to grow up around, but we can't exactly shut out family either.
Best of luck!
Merry Christmas!
Posted by: Jenny at December 22, 2006 11:24 AM
Well, I hope it all goes much better than you expect, and if not, at least you may have some interesting blog posts when you get back. Good luck and Merry Christmas!!!
Posted by: Jessie at December 22, 2006 01:00 PM
I hope your holidays turn out wonderful. I totally get the baby not wanting to be held by strangers no matter what the blood line. We live super far from our family and either people treat us like we have the plague when we visit or they are all over us. I can say it gets easier when they grow up a little :D
Merry Christmas!
Posted by: chelle at December 22, 2006 02:36 PM
I totally hear ya on the baby stuff. It can be really hard to travel with a baby anyway, let alone having to add in a time change and a dose of separation anxiety. I dislike travelling with Lady because personally, I don't like to modify her schedule too much, and I don't like it when I feel like I have to. It makes me very very edgy. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that Alliclaus can adjust without too much added stress from everyone else!
As for the family stuff, well, I hear ya there too. When Sweetie and I got engaged, his family made our lives hell. We had a date set and ended up postponing the wedding fairly early in the game simply because they were being so terrible, we didn't know how we were going to pull it all off. That was a few years ago, and they seem to have moved on since then, and I've managed to find a way to peacefully coexist with them all (including the one completely unreasonable sister who was in/out of the wedding every five minutes for the last three weeks leading up to the event. I shouldn't get started.), but still, a little part of me can't forget the things they did, or the way they treated me. I'm sure that even as we all move further away from the whole unseemly time, I'll always have a little part of me that will never really get over it. And when we all get together during the holidays? It all comes back, because Sweetie's family has a really ass-backwards way of doing things and (at times) they drive me nuts. So I remember how I was labled "the outsider" who couldn't be accepted. Sigh.
But then? I know our family consists of Lady, Sweetie and Me, and soon Little Mister. And I happen to think we have a spectacular thing going, so I like to sit back and think about how they were so completely wrong and we were so completely right. It's petty, but makes me feel better.
Posted by: Chatty cricket at December 22, 2006 05:25 PM
Why is it that holidays always end up so stressful? I know whenever we go back east to visit the family, there is always a little tension, which is part of the reason we have never gone over a holiday. Hopefully this trip will be better than you are thinking it will be and if it isn't, well, then maybe it will just go by quickly!
Posted by: Jennifer at December 23, 2006 12:28 PM
I hope everything went well for Christmas!
Posted by: Jenny at December 26, 2006 01:29 PM
Best wishes. I know how difficult the inlaws can make life.
I know you are quite busy when you come out here, but sometime, when you come out to San Diego, we will have to do lunch.
Posted by: Laura Lohr at December 30, 2006 01:04 AM
Well have a very Happy Holiday! and I will hope all goes well and everyhting falls into place where Alliclaus does well. Again Merry Christmas.
Posted by: Jacquie at December 22, 2006 08:32 AM