Real life. It appears that it has arrived.

For the last nine weeks, we Clauses have rarely been alone. My mom was here for seven weeks, followed by the road trip to San Diego, our trip to Chicago to see Auntie Sarah graduate (post to arrive soon) and one week with Andiclaus' mom.

He took her to the airport last night. And now it's just the three of us. I am so thankful for all the help we've gotten with Alliclaus. I'm an only child with no cousins who grew up near me. I don't know that I had ever changed a diaper in my life. And I'm not really fond of children. The help we got with Alliclaus may have saved her life. It definitely saved my sanity.

But it is so good to be just us. For Andiclaus and I to trust our own knowledge about our daughter and what is best for her.

I can't believe how much I love her. I'm not a squishy person (emotionally - physically, that may be the best description). I'm still really selfish. I will gladly let someone else hold Alliclaus so that I can get a few more minutes in reading your blogs.

But when she and I are together, when I'm feeding her or we're cuddling in bed, I wouldn't be anywhere else.

June 6, I go back to work. It's only part-time, and Andiclaus will be with her while I'm gone, but it's heartbreaking. I'm actually looking forward to the adult interaction and the feeling of accomplishment I get from working. I just can't believe they don't want Alliclaus there with me.

She wants to be picked up right now. I'm glad to oblige.