So yesterday was my 15 week checkup. Since my doctor recently had a baby, I saw one of the midwives from the practice. She was very nice.
However, since she is a midwife, she is very natural and holistic and other adjectives not describing Bethiclaus. When I told her that the morning sickness would not end, she started recommending wonderful things. Vitamin B6. (Why didn't you guys tell me this?) Ginger. Lavender oil. I was like, sweet, I'll just drink ginger ale. Then she tells me that regular stores don't sell real ginger ale. They sell ginger-flavored ale and that I need to go to one of them there natural shops.
So today I went to Whole Foods. And I bought two dollar bottles of ginger ale. Holy crap! Do they not know that I am super-cheap? Then I bought some Ginger Peach tea from The Repbulic of Tea. Yech! I'm not much of a flavored tea drinker, so this is pretty nasty stuff.
Additionally, I bought I little bottle of Lavender Essential Oil. I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to cook with it, so what the heck do you do with it? I'm not really an aromatherapy kind of person. If you know the answer to this question, please comment. And don't make me feel stupid.
So, in three weeks I have The Ultrasound. We've had a few already due to some early complications, but this is the big one. In three weeks, we have to decide whether or not we want to know Fefe's gender. I have mixed emotions on this whole thing.
This is where I turn into exactly that "Granola-Type Californian."
I really don't think I want to know. I think that we assign an awful lot to children based on their gender and I already think it's crazy. Why do we want to do this to them before they're even born? Oh! My fetus has a penis! I must buy blue things with trucks on them! I just can't take it.
However (and this is where I demonstrate my multiple personalities), I am becoming a slave to consumerism. Back in the day, there were a lot of gender-neutral baby clothes. Most people didn't know what they were having and that forced the baby industry to cater to a gender-neutral concept. Now, though, there is so little for parents who don't want to know the gender.
So here's the deal: In spite of the fact that I am a graduate student who spends a great deal of my time studying how the consumer-driven economy is destroying our relationship with each other, God and the world, I have become a slave to the advertisers.
I have three weeks to decide. Your task is clear. Convince me to do whatever it is that you would do.
P.S. It is only fair to point out that I will not be making this decision alone. Andiclaus will also need convincing.
I hate surprises and secrets in general, and I'm extraordinarily controlling, so if I'm ever pregnant, I know for a fact that I will find out the gender. that said, I agree with your concerns about gender typing, and think that Sarah has the right idea--find out, if you want to, but keep it to yourself. This way you can satisfy (and maybe control) your own consumer impulses. I get the feeling that you're less concerned about buying your own (theoretical) daughter tutus, than you are about other people showering her with Barbies or your little (equally theoretical) boy with trucks. I'm right there with you.
Posted by: jess at October 15, 2005 11:00 PM
I say it's the only true surprise you can have in your life, so why not enjoy it? You'll be happy to have a healthy baby either way.
I also have a friend who had multiple ultrasounds all showing the baby was a girl. Imagine her surprise when it was a boy and she had to completely rearrange her thinking after already committing herself to a daughter.
Posted by: Shelly at October 16, 2005 01:54 PM
I don't have kids, but I think knowing the sex would help me feel bonded to the little person in there. But that's just me. On the other hand, finding out whether it's a boy or a girl at the moment of birth has got to be one of life's best surprises...
Posted by: Liz at October 16, 2005 02:29 PM
I say find out the gender. I for one could not wait 9 months to find it out. Of course, we already have names picked out and we aren't even pregnant, but I think you should find out. I promise to buy gender neutral things for the baby, even if you do decide to tell me what it is. I just know that I would not be able to wait. Good luck though and we are praying for you guys! We miss you!!!
Posted by: RikkiSuzanne at October 17, 2005 02:42 AM
ummm, I think I probably wouldn't find out, although the temptation would be GREAT.
I am mostly concerned that you are still sick! GAH! Feel better soon! Kick the midwife!
Posted by: halloweenlover at October 17, 2005 04:53 PM
I say that both of you shouldfind out and not tell anyone. You both best know how to provide for your baby without necessarily being gender specific. Let others face the unknown. This may also prevent unwanted baby-name suggestions. But just know I'm sticking with my intuition that it's a girl. And if you find a baby dress in the gifts you might be getting, know that its from me, and if it's a boy I will still be excited to take a picture with him in his dress, I'll even wear dangling earrings for the picture.
Posted by: Josue at October 17, 2005 05:26 PM
Some of my friends were told they were having a girl and ended up with a boy. They were stuck with a whole lot of pink 'girl' clothes. They dressed him in them anyway. To a point what difference does it make anyhow? They were thrilled with their baby. Now he is turning into a cute little boy. I say find out and keep it a secret. Tell people to buy things that are yellow, green, and purple. Good luck!
Posted by: Stacie at October 18, 2005 02:04 AM
Ok so on with the whole lavender oil thing, put it on pressure points like your temples and back of your neck. Use preventative or only when the sickness starts. Ahh living with Audrea has taught me a few things!
And as far as the gender thing goes I say don't find out and if you do... tell people you didn't. That way they will not harrase you about names and they will attempt to buy gender nuetral things.
Posted by: Sarah at October 15, 2005 05:24 PM