1. MTV and I were born the same year (1981).
2. I am an only child.
3. But I share well.
4. All the men in my family (as far back as I can track), have served in the armed services.
5. I am, therefore, a tremendous disappointment, being both a liberal and a pacifist.
6. Rather than marrying someone in the military, I married an actor.
7. This may have been the most life-changing (and best) decision of my life.
8. I have no memories of my father until I was in junior high that don’t include a ship and a pier.
9. My aunt was thirteen years older than me.
10. When I was three, she and her friends would let me hang out in her bedroom while they listened to music.
11. I blame her for my love of all things ‘80s.
12. When I was in grade school, I wanted to be a scientist.
13. As an adult, I’m not sure I even know what a “scientist” does.
14. After finding out that I completely suck at all competitive sports, I started dancing.
15. It turns out that I am quite a good dancer.
16. A number of leg injuries permanently grounded my dance career.
17. I still dream about dancing professionally.
18. My dream career includes The Pussycat Dolls.
19. I also enjoy singing and playing the piano.
20. My husband thinks I am a rock star.
21. I am. In my car. And my shower.
22. My parents separated my freshman year of high school.
23. I had friends who cried when I told them.
24. I don’t remember my reaction. I don’t think it was very dramatic.
25. After my parents split, my mom and I moved in with my grandma.
26. My grandma is one of the two most influential women in my life.
27. I met my best friend my junior year of high school.
28. She hated me and I didn’t know it.
29. Obviously, I am a very forgiving person.
30. She now dates my husband’s twin brother.
31. We were in a show choir together.
32. No, I’m not embarrassed.
33. She and I and three other girls dressed up and sang Spice Girls songs at shows.
34. Okay, I’m a little embarrassed by that one.
35. My best friend’s mom is the one who gave me the name Bethiclaus.
36. I made them all blankets and sneaked in to deliver them early Christmas morning.
37. She is the second most influential woman in my life.
38. She died my senior year of college.
39. I miss her very much.
40. Get a pap smear.
41. I went to college with my high school sweetheart.
42. That went great for me.
43. In opposite world.
44. I am a reformed cheater.
45. I therefore hate when people say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
46. I cheated with the man who would become my husband.
47. He trusts me.
48. It works out well for me.
49. The college I went to was a private, evangelical school.
50. There were a lot of blonde people there.
51. I was scared.
52. I’m okay now.
53. When I started college, I was a Music Education major.
54. I had five different majors before I finished school.
55. I graduated with a degree in Philosophy and Theology.
56. Andiclaus proposed three days after graduation.
57. Just two days after all his family left town.
58. We had a hard time setting a date for the wedding.
59. After the largest fight we ever had (regarding said wedding date), we drove from San Diego to Los Angeles to visit his family.
60. Andiclaus fell asleep behind the wheel.
61. In the fast lane.
62. On the freeway.
63. In Los Angeles.
64. It was 4:00 pm.
65. On a weekday.
66. We survived.
67. My car did not.
68. I appear to have Post-Traumatic Stress from this incident.
69. I don’t drive on the freeway anymore.
70. And I am a horrible passenger.
71. It’s not you – it’s me.
72. Andiclaus has five brothers and sisters.
73. One of them is his identical twin, Joshiclaus.
74. He was Andiclaus’ best man.
75. They’re identical twins.
76. Which explains why my best friend (and maid of honor) kissed my husband at the reception.
77. She will never live this down with me.
78. We got married in my grandmother’s church.
79. My favorite thing at my wedding was my mosaic wedding cake.
80. My least favorite thing was the ‘70s (not ‘80s) music my deejay kept playing.
81. That was Andiclaus’ fraternity brothers’ fault.
82. I got bronchitis the day after the wedding.
83. This is how I deal with stress.
84. Clearly, when it comes to survival of the fittest, I’m doomed.
85. After living in San Diego my entire life, we moved to Kansas City.
86. I am going to seminary now.
87. I don’t want to be a pastor or anything.
88. So don’t be scared.
89. It snows here.
90. And it gets very hot and humid.
91. Neither of those things happens in San Diego.
92. I am choosing to enjoy living in Kansas City.
93. We’ll be here at least another three years.
94. We have no children.
95. Unless you count our little kitty, Salem.
96. We did not name him after Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.
97. He came with that name.
98. I wouldn’t want anybody changing my name.
99. My maiden name was very obscure.
100. My married name is also pretty obscure, but I share it with a famous skank, so most people know how to pronounce it.